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高考英语满分作文名师点评(十二)

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发表于 2016-7-24 09:45:10 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
  作文题目
          假设你是李华,你的英国笔友Bob将于九月到你所在城市的建新华文学校学中文,来信请你在学校附近为他找一套住房。请根据图画提供的信息,写信介绍住房的情况,并告知住房面积为25平方米,月租500元。
          注意:1、词数:100左右;2、参考词汇:房租—Tent(n.).
          作品一:
          I’m very happy to receive your letter, and I’m glad to hear that you will go to China to learn Chinese here. I have already found a fiat for you. It is on Fangcao Street, which is not far from Jianxin Chinese School. Bus No.11 can take you there, and it is one stop before the Chinese School. The flat is on the third floor with 3 rooms, one of which is bedroom, the other two are bathroom and kitchen. There are a bed, a sofa, a desk and some chairs in this 25 square-metres small fiat, and the rent is 500 yuan per month. Maybe this fiat is not as good as your wish, but I’ll try my best to meet your needs. If it is not suitable enough, write to me and I will look for another better place.
          Hope you will come here soon!
          All the best!
          Yours,
          Li Hua
          满分理由
          本文格式正确,意思表述完整,行文流畅自然。作者在写作过程中注意长短句并用,还使用了以‘which,’引导的非限定性定语从句,从而使文章层次分明,富于变化,不愧为考场佳作。
          作品二:
          Dear Bob,
          Welcome to China! You wrote to me to find a place for you.
          I have found an apartment on Fangcao Street near Jianxin Chinese School. It is on the third floor and there’re three rooms in it: a bedroom, a kitchen, and a bathroom. There is a bed, a sofa, a desk and a chair in the bedroom. The house is 25 square metres and the rent is 500 yuan per month.
          Also from this house you can get to your school easily. Just take the No.11 bus at the bus-stop in front of the building. It is only one stop. At last, will you please tell me the time you arrive? Then I’U be able to meet you at the airport,see you.
          Best wishes !
          Yours,
          Li Hua
          满分理由
          本文格式正确,内容完整,表述清楚,衔接紧密流畅,时态语态使用准确,特别是结尾末段适度的发挥,既充实了内容,又符合逻辑,成为本文与众不同的亮点。
       
          

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